I am always surprised when people ask me how many times I have been hit at work and they are always surprised when I answer NEVER. In all my years sex working, there have been only been two times when my client scared me and neither of these times resulted in me being hurt.
It’s important to note that if I feel uneasy about a potential client for any reason I do not accept the booking. As sex workers we develop many screening techniques that work for us, the most reliable one being our gut instincts. I also want to acknowledge that while I have not experienced workplace violence or abuse at work in the sex industry, there are many sex workers who have. Indeed there are many workers in all industries who have, but for workers in the sex industry there is less support and limited options to deal with issues or incidents due to criminalisation and discrimination. In many cases the sex work laws are responsible for making sex workers more vulnerable at work. We should also remember that for women violence is more likely to be a part of our home life than our work life, no matter what job we do. So to ask me how many times I have been hit at work just because I am a sex worker is kind of ridiculous and inappropriate, not to mention unhelpful. Imagine asking every woman you meet how many times they have been hit by a partner or family member as part of normal conversation.
So generally I get frustrated with the question and the looks of disbelief that follow my answer, but if I’m feeling generous I will follow it up with an explanation and a story. Only two bookings where I felt scared and due to my well refined de-escalation skills neither of them resulted in me being hurt. Infact one of them is now part of my collection of funny hooker stories, do you want to hear it?
I was working in one of Adelaide’s small suburban brothels one evening when this client came in. He booked me for 2 hours straight up and we headed for the small 2 person outdoor spa in the private courtyard of the cottage we were working from. It didn’t take me long to notice this guy was wired. He was racing through emotions from aggressive to horny to nervous back to aggressive, the whole time very agitated. In the spa he told me what I already suspected; he been on a massive drink and drug bender and hadn’t slept for three days. He told me about a big fight he had with his girlfriend and was clearly still very angry about it. He became more aggressive the more he talked about the fight. He re-enacted an argument using me as a prop for his girlfriend.
I was scared. I was confined in the spa with him inches from my face, yelling at me, fist clenched, veins popping, body pumped, mind scattered, pupils dilated.
“AND I TOLD HER TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN TO ME YOU STUPID FUCKING BITCH, FUCKING LISTEN TO ME”
He wasn’t calling me a stupid fucking bitch, he was telling me what he said to his girlfriend, but he sure was doing a convincing performance. In those moments a thousand things flashed in my mind but I did my best to hold his focus and find a way to snap him back to the here and now. I was worried that in his overtired, delirious, hyped up, sketched out, coming down, pepped up, clenching tight, freaking out state of conscienceness he would blur the line and vision between me and his girlfriend and then I’d be in trouble.
I calmly and gently reminded him that there were people inside the house who will come out and check on us if they hear him yelling and swearing. He lowered his voice but kept going, every now and then getting louder and more aggressive as the story peaked. He was angry and he was strong and he was unpredictable. If I had been visiting him I would have found a reason to leave but I was in a brothel and there were other workers around who will intervene the minute I screamed so i kept going with the booking.
After a while he stopped talking about his girlfriend and seemed to settle into the service. We went inside to the bedroom past the other workers where I gave them a look which said… ‘hard work’ (as opposed to the ‘funny story’ or ‘extra money opportunity here’ or ‘bored as hell’ or ‘get me the fuck outa here’ looks). They give me a ‘poor you’ look in return and I keep walking.
Behind closed doors he was still agitated and still tense, still arrogant and still strong, but less angry. We had about an hour and 20 mins left and I planned on using the last 10 mins to shower, so really only about an hour left. I knew he wasn’t going to want me to massage him, and I knew he would have trouble performing after his bender but guys like this wont to let you do your thing. They want this and they want that, now do this and try that, none of which is going to give him an erection. But he’ll rub it till it’s raw or the hour is up. I’m twisting his nipples, sucking him off, playing with myself, playing with him, on repeat while he rubs and rubs, he is hot and dripping in sweat, condoms get thrown off and new ones put on while his dick goes hard and soft and i try hard not to show my boredom whilst avoiding falling drops of sweat.
Wanking his dick and talking about various women he has fucked and sex acts he’s proud of. Again not very interesting and some of it was pretty offensive. He told me him and his mates once picked up a woman from a club, took her somewhere nearby and fucked her during which she allowed them to stick a carrot in her ass. These three guys were fucking this woman in the ass with a carrot and then let it get stuck inside her, they couldn’t get it out. Everyone involved freaked out and the guys drove her to the closest hospital and dumped her out the front.. I was appalled and I didn’t hide it. I told him I thought it was disgusting that they would be so disrespectful as to just dump her at the hospital after they carelessly lost a fucking carrot in her ass. I disliked him even more.
But there was still 40 minutes to go so I went back to playing with my vibrator while he furiously yanked on his penis trying to make himself cum. It was after I faked the 3rd orgasm (all that moaning has got to lead to something eventually) when he told me he wanted me to fuck him with one of my toys. It’s not an unusual request, I would say at least half the guys I see like some kind ass teasing or anal play even if they don’t talk about it. I had plenty of ass- play experience with clients with my condom covered fingers, but not much with toys. There was 35 minutes left in the booking and I was keen to shake it up a bit and waste some precious time in this long tedious booking by getting up of the bed, finding the right toy, putting a condom on it and getting lube organised.
I chose a smallish slim vibrator and put a condom over it. I underestimated him. I should have chosen a medium or even a large toy, he had obviously done this before. He was getting right into it and for the first time in the booking I felt the pressure mounting, now we were getting somewhere. He was still pulling on his penis, it was hard now. I knew, in the way a hooker knows that I needed to keep going at the same pace for just a bit longer to make him finally cum and then I can push him out the door. But the toy was too small and he was thrusting so far back on it that it his ass swallowed the vibrator while I clinged to the end of the condom that covered it. The whole vibrator was now inside him with only the condom hanging out and he was still thrusting. I gave the condom a yank trying to bring the vibrator back out where I could get a grip of it but the condom broke and the vibrator disappeared in further inside him.
My life flashed before my eyes. This aggressive sketched out tough guy on all fours in front of me and I lost a vibrator in his ass!!
I didn’t say anything, I shoved my fingers inside him and felt the tip of the toy. I told him to push so I could grab it and instead he tensed up and I felt it move away from my fingers. He started freaking, I told him to relax and push, it’s going to be fine I promised, I’ve got it I lied. But I had no idea what has going to happen, I was shitscared.
Like a pro, he instantly fell into foetal position, pulled his ass cheeks apart and pushed. I saw the end of the toy crowning (haha), I grabbed it and pulled it out. I told you he had done this before! The relief flooded through me, crisis averted. He was kinda pissed off at me, not only had I killed the potential orgasm, but I had irresponsibly lost my toy in his bum.
With the danger gone, his bottom in tact and only 15 minutes of the booking left I felt pretty safe and smug in assuring him that if I had lost the vibrator in his ass I would happily arrange for someone to drop him out the front of the local hospital.
Even now the memory of the arrogant, aggressive, tough guy falling into foetal and pulling his ass cheeks apart and pushing like his life depended on it makes me giggle.